To Love A Man
by Nillen
Summary: AU. To love a man, you need courage. To love a former soldier without a leg, you need much more than that. But Zero doesn't mind, he never will. KanaZero.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer : I don't own Vampire Knight.

This story is inspired by 'Tin Soldier' children fairytale, uhh, don't worry, I'm not going to make it unrequited love or something. :l It takes place in a universe, where the weathers are never bright enough and everything is like in gloomy state. Yes, I don't know how to explain but yes, you got what I mean. :)

**This story is edited by faded. brilliance.** Thanks so much, mate. ;D

And I also want to** dedicate this story to faded. brilliance** too, for being an awesome editor, a supporter that keeps on persuading (forcing? XD) me to write and update my stories, my cool classmate and my beloved soulmate. (insert hearts) :D

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><p>"Thank you." A young brunette paid the taxi driver that helped him to take out his things before he left. He sighed as he watched the yellow taxi took off and turned to look at his home. A grand, Victorian mansion stood still even after all those years and he let a smile curve on his face.<p>

"Nii-san!" a happy call of his name made his smile turned into a grin and Kaname took his approaching sister into his arms when she practically jumped on him. She managed to not let them fall as he struggled to remain stable.

"Oops, sorry!" the brunette girl quickly pulled away but her hands stayed on his waist. Kaname smiled down at her and kissed her on her forehead.

"It's fine, Yuuki." Kaname nodded his head and Yuuki grinned wide before kissing him on his cheeks.

"I'm glad you're home, Nii-sama. Come on, let's get your things inside!" Yuuki said cheerily as she bent down to take his luggage. Kaname managed to grab his bag pack before she did and the brunette girl scowled at him.

"Hey, let me!"

"No, Yuuki, I'm still capable."

Somehow that broke the thin line between awkwardness and happiness. Yuuki stared at her older brother, her brown eyes blinked slowly when Kaname let his drop slightly to the ground. She tried not to imagine the existence of the crutches that he used, tried to imagine him to be the same like how he was before he left for the war. But then, it crossed her mind that Kaname Kuran would not work in such a way.

He was strong in his own way, no matter what.

Then the girl let out a small chuckle and shook her head at her own foolishness.

"Of course you are, Nii-san… Of course you are."

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><p>The fire crackling in the fireplace warmed the study room as Kaname sat down on a couch, flipping relaxly through a book that he didn't manage to finish before he left. His glasses slipped down to the bridge of his nose for the nth time and he gently pushed them back up with his middle and pointer fingers. The night could not be any better as the stereo he switched on, played his favourite song.<p>

When he flipped his book to the next page, he heard a faint knock on his door. Kaname absent mindedly gave his permission for the person to enter and when he faintly smelled the perfume his little sister loves to wear, he slowly closed his book.

There, Yuuki stood in front of him, in a short and plain but elegant black dress. He raised an eyebrow at her sudden image change and his sister laughed.

"It has been a week, Nii-san! Let's go out tonight, I got us two tickets for a Ballet Performance!" she exclaimed, almost too happily and Kaname suppressed a sigh from escaping.

"Yuuki…"

"Come on, Nii-san! Please? I even got us the front seats!"

Kaname chuckled slightly and closed his eyes.

"At what time the performance is starting?" he inquired as he took off his glasses and placed it down. Yuuki brightened up almost instantly and Kaname wished not to let the happiness dim from her eyes. The brunette girl flopped down beside him on the leather couch and snuggled by his side.

"In two more hours. I assumed it's good if we can reach there thirty minutes earlier, the ride will take about another thirty minutes." She smiled and Kaname shook his head at the idea.

"You should have told me earlier so that I can get ready."

"But I couldn't find it in myself to disturb you! You looked really peaceful just now!" Kaname chuckled at the excuse, his hand pulling his crutch close to him before he tried to stand up.

"That is hardly an excuse, Yuuki…"

The girl just grinned at him and he decided to start getting ready instead. With one leg absent, Kaname carefully walked out the study room to enter his own.

Kaname succeeded his grabbing his own black suit without calling for help. He somehow despised it when the maids and the butler looked at him with pity in their eyes; something that he was unfamiliar with. His life was good before he left for the war – his parents died when he was twelve and at such a young age, he was amazed on how he managed to deal with all his family's businesses and took care of his younger sibling at the same time – and to return back with a condition where a blunt person would label as 'crippled', it changed something between him and others.

They started to care for him and that made him feel smothered as he never liked attention. He lives to make sure his sister got the best for her life and that his workers managed to live normally – not starving from hunger or jobless state, never –. Last two years, when their country got into a war with their neighbouring country, Kaname somehow felt that he needed to do some soul-searching.

He volunteered and entered the battlefield. It was nothing like how he imagined. It was worse than that. There were friends he made and more than half he knew, were unable to return back home. They died and Kaname prayed for their souls. He wanted to go back, he wanted to meet his sister again and live his old life again.

So he did.

But with a price.

When an explosion took place in his camp, he managed to survive. And when he opened his eyes, a nurse looked at him with sympathy written all over her face but something like relief was also there. She told him he was unconscious for almost a week and that the war had come to its end.

Then he realized he had lost a leg – his left leg – and that he was free to go home again, but no longer as a normal person. But still, it was something worth to be grateful for.

Kaname sighed as he slicked his hair back with his hand, it grows long quite fast, Kaname mused. He put on a false, wooden leg that his sister managed to get for him in a week time and tried to stabilize himself again. Looking in the mirror, Kaname realized that this would be the first time he was going out to the city after his homecoming.

Sighing again, the brunette took his black trench coat and his walking stick and quietly made his way out from his room to get to his sister again.

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><p>"This is more than what I expected." Kaname blinked his eyes as he watched people enter the hall and took their seats. Yuuki, beside him, chuckled as she linked their arms together.<p>

"The performance is something worth watching, Nii-san. The ballerinas and ballerino are very talented." Yuuki grinned and Kaname frowned slightly.

"Ballerino?"

"Yes, but don't you worry, he is a _very_ _beautiful_ man." His sister whispered in his ear and Kaname made a motion of flicking his fingers against her forehead. She whined at his treatment and Kaname laughed in return.

When the audience finally settled down and the lights dimmed, Kaname watched as two ladies in pink ballerina's outfits started their play. His eyes were blank as he stared at them throughout their performance while Yuuki hummed along with the music. He considered that the show was okay and as Yuuki had stated, 'worth watching' but he couldn't find it in his heart to comment more than that.

That was until a man made his appearance. A gentle music followed his emergence and a stool was placed not too far from him. He wore black loose pants and a white singlet. His body was feminine and yet, muscular if one looked very closely. Silver hair reached the nape of his neck but was pulled into a small ponytail. Pale white skin glowed in the lights on the stage and Kaname found himself entranced.

His arms reached above his head, tugging his singlet up to reveal a tantalizing strip of flesh and bare feet anchored him on the stool top. Swinging his hips slowly with the music, the dancer sank down, running his hands through his hair and then down pass his neck, skimming over his chest before letting them drop to the counter top as he crouched, still moving his hips and tossing his head with the music.

He was humming the music – as if it was a song – as he slowly rose again, swinging his hips and letting his hands wander seductively over his body.

Kaname didn't know how such a man could make his heart beat so quick and hard all of sudden. And he couldn't take his eyes off the figure until he was finished with his performance.

Once the curtains were finally closed, Kaname abruptly turned to look at his sister only to see Yuuki grinning at him. He managed to stop himself from scowling at her because judging by her looks, it was already predictable that she expected this to happen.

"So you like him?" Yuuki teased him, a finger poking his rib. Kaname inwardly groaned but was unable to stop the foolish, happy smile from appearing on his face.

"He's beautiful." At that, Yuuki's grin widened, "Do you know him?"

"His name is Zero, he's an acquaintance." Kaname raised his eyebrow when she pointed out the backstage.

"But I believe you can learn to know him more."

Kaname took more than a minute to think about the idea. Then he looked down at his lap and his excitement fell.

Zero looked beautiful when he danced. He looked beautiful when he raised his leg and when he twirled. He looked like a ballerina doll, the one with a pretty face and is perfect everywhere. And Kaname was not perfect, he was not even close. He only has a leg and it was futile to even dare to think how perfect they could be if Kaname were to ever try to court him.

Yuuki seemed to sense his insecurity as she gently held his hand.

"It's okay, Nii-san… You're fine, you're perfect."

Kaname closed his eyes and a weak chuckle escaped his lips.

"For you, I am."

"For others too, you are." Yuuki scowled at him but her eyes were filled with affection and tenderness that it almost hurt Kaname to rebut her words.

Kaname, however, did not seek the ballerino at all that night.

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><p>Kaname wasn't sure whether it was fate or an accident when he saw the ballerino again. This time, he was at town, enjoying his breakfast alone. Yuuki had to go back to college since it was a weekday and Kaname was left all alone. He was taking a sip on his Earl Grey tea when the door to the café opened and the silver haired man entered. However, he was not alone.<p>

A tall brunette stood by his side, their shoulders touching casually and he was saying something that brought a smile to the dancer's face. Kaname watched with slightly wide eyes at his appearance; simple white jeans that nicely hugged his legs and hips, together with a brown trench coat that covered his shirt and a white scarf wrapped around his neck. His face looked a lot more real when Kaname saw him closely and the most fascinating thing about him was his eyes.

They were shades of lilac; something rare, something unique, yet something beautiful.

Shaking his head to make the haze he got from seeing the dancer disappear, he quickly looked down to his book and tried to ignore the couple.

He remembered Yuuki called him 'Zero' and that was confirmed when one of the waiters called his name. It seemed that he was a usual customer of this café. He tried to ignore them as Zero chuckled at something the brunette said and how close they seem to be. Or maybe because the ache that he felt caused him to tilt his head up to look at them clearly. He didn't want to miss Zero's expression when he laughed or smiled because it hurt.

Unfortunately, when he raised his head, his eyes met directly with the lilac gaze.

Zero stared at him for a second or two, before his attention was stolen by the brunette. Kaname remained dazed in his seat, spellbound by the way Zero had looked at him. He frowned slightly when the taller man whispered something to him before he pressed a light kiss on the dancer's cheek and left. Zero's face turned blank followed by the sound of the door being closed.

A second later, another small smile appeared on his lips and Kaname looked down again.

It looked like a one sided love. But Kaname wasn't sure which side was unrequited.

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><p>It later became a habit.<p>

Kaname managed to get the address of Zero's house and he managed to attend every performance that he did. He was a brilliant student from an overseas college but his hobby took over his ambition. From a student with a degree in music, he got out from his path as a skillful musician to a dancer.

Kaname thought that Zero would make a good pianist. He had been playing the instrument since he was five years old and his family was involved in the music industry as well. Maybe it was because of the accident that took away his parents and his twin that made him sick of the lifestyle. They were on their way to their father's special performance when their car got involved in a collision with another car and Zero got thrown out in the action. It was because of that, he survived while his family had not.

The brunette was silent as he went through the biography of a man he found fascinating. He gently ran his fingertips on a picture of a younger Zero and was about to smell it – would the picture smell as enthralling as Zero was? – as well when someone knocked on the door of his study.

He quietly exhaled his breath and looked at the door.

"Enter."

Yuuki peeked in and he smiled slightly when the brunette girl grinned at him. She skipped into the room before leaning down to press a kiss on his cheek.

"Did you miss me?" she winked at him and he chuckled slowly.

"Yes, Yuuki. How's college?"

Yuuki brightened up almost like a bulb before she started to tell him about her day. However, throughout the day, she didn't see the document and picture Kaname kept hidden under his folded arms.

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><p>Kaname stood on the side walk, waiting for his driver to come as he watched the other audiences took off. He would love to drive by his own but he wasn't sure if he memorized the roads in the city that well. The weather was unforgiving too. It was night but the sky was dark with black clouds, warning them that heavy rain was going to fall.<p>

Blinking his eyes, Kaname checked his watch again before he realized that Zero's performance actually ended an hour earlier than his expected schedule. The taxis were also hard to get at this time. With a sigh, Kaname leaned slightly against the wall, his fingers tapping the head of his walking stick as he continued to survey his surroundings.

It was then he saw a familiar silver haired man exiting the building from the backdoor. He was covered in a light brown trench coat, no hat covering his silver tresses but a white scarf wrapped around his neck. He looked like he was in rush but Kaname was surprised when he suddenly stopped in his track.

The man hunched over a little before he put a hand on the wall close to him. He slid down slightly and leaned down to touch his knee. Without wasting time, Kaname walked as fast as he could towards him.

His action caused the dancer to jolt in surprise. Giving a small smile, Kaname looked down to greet him. He was a head shorter than him, Kaname mused while staring at the bright lilac orbs.

"Hello, you need help?" Kaname inquired and Zero frowned looking at him.

"No. Go away, stranger." he said grumpily and Kaname couldn't help but smile. He reached out and put his hand on Zero's knee. Zero gasped when his hand went lower and Kaname's eyes narrowed. He carefully kneeled down in front of the dancer before touching his leg again, this time with a firmer grip.

"You strained your ankle." He stated with a matter-of-fact voice. He could almost feel Zero rolling his eyes at him. "Yeah, Mr. Sherlock Holmes, I kind of figured it out by the pain. Who are you anyway?"

Kaname chuckled at the obvious revulsion directed at him. He shook his head slightly and touched the dancer's boots. He was wearing quite a high pair of high heeled boots for men, like an aristocrat, Kaname inwardly smiled.

"My name is Kaname."

"I-"

"Zero Kiryuu. I watched your performance just now. You were marvelous. As always." He said as he pulled off Zero's boot to take a closer look at the injury. Zero hit him on his shoulder but he made no notice of the action.

"What are you doing? Let go of me!"

"I'm inspecting your injury… It doesn't look bad but you have to treat it quickly to avoid taking up more days to heal completely." Kaname looked up at him and was slightly surprised when he saw Zero looking down at him; large lilac eyes seemed to be in disbelief.

Silence hung between them for a while before Zero faked a cough and awkwardly looked away.

"I was in rush to meet my lover."

Kaname saw black for a second before he blinked his eyes again and realized that he was still breathing.

"But I guess I'm already late. Damn." The silver haired dancer murmured. Kaname blinked again, unconsciously touched the knee to the wooden leg that supported his body.

"I'll bring you there." He quietly volunteered as he stood up. Zero looked back at him, his cheeks were flushed, Kaname thought perhaps the cold weather was starting to get to him. Worries ate his insides as he leaned down slightly so that their heights were at the same level.

"Are you okay?" he asked with a softer voice and Zero nodded slightly.

Smiling at the response, he turned to present his back at the shorter man and rested his walking stick next to the wall for the moment before he kneeled down. Zero scrunched his eyes at the action as he just realized the existence of the walking stick.

"Um, hey-"

"If you don't get on my back, I'll carry you bride style." Kaname cut him off to avoid the sudden awkwardness Zero caused. He knew he wouldn't be able to carry the dancer like that, but his ego held him too high sometimes.

Zero rolled his eyes at the brunette before he slowly touched his shoulders.

"You are sure?" he inquired quietly and received a soft chuckle instead. When Zero positioned himself against the man's back, he didn't expect a pair of strong arms to wrap around both of his legs – one on each – only to stabilize him more. Stifling a yelp from escaping, Zero bit his lips.

Kaname gritted his teeth, his hand swiftly grabbed his walking stick back before he took a deep breath. He realized that Zero had wrapped his arms around his neck with quite a tight hold but he wouldn't complain. He was lucky enough to have the ballerino touching him.

"You're okay?" Zero asked him again and Kaname nodded before he straightened himself, with grace that a Kuran must have, and turned his head slightly over his shoulder to see the other man.

"You're light, Kiryuu-kun."

He saw that flush again on the dancer's cheeks and smiled at the beautiful view. Slowly he started to walk while Zero gave him the direction.

It was fortunate that the journey didn't even take more than fifteen minutes and to Kaname's surprise, Zero actually led them back to his apartment. He gently lowered down the other man and Zero hissed when his injured ankle touched the ground again.

Kaname wanted to reach out and help him and Zero pulled away, as if he knew that Kaname would. Feeling his heart clenched painfully at the reaction, Kaname masked his expression with the same cool and emotionless face he was taught to have.

"Umm, okay… Thank you for your help. I'll… see you around?" Zero said, almost uncomfortably awkward and Kaname, being a gentleman that he is, just smiled. He wanted to not make the other man feel worse when he obviously didn't want the brunette to enter his home.

"Okay."

With that, Zero gave his first smile at him, waved slightly and went inside his apartment building.

What Zero didn't know, the rain had started to fall when he got inside, but the brunette only blinked his eyes; because his heart just flew away with his dancer's smile.

TBC.

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><p>AN : This story has 3 parts. I'm going to post the second part in few more days, hopefully. :) About 'A Spoonful of Ginger', I am trying to write an update but no inspiration is there for it yet. I don't know, and people keeps on bashing the story and my inability to continue makes me even more sadder. I mean, I have a life too, please don't bash me for that. :(

Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this story. :)

Review please.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer : I do not own Vampire Knight.

I'm sorry for the late update, I really am. :(

**Reviews' Replies :**

**kanamexzero fan** : Haha, I hope you are still here. :D Sorry this took me for a while, kind of having so many problems at one time. :/ The story, hopefully, will progress by your expectation but who knows? ;D Thanks for reading this anyway! (hugs)

**nz** : ;D We shall see about Zero's boyfriend, yeah? I hope I didn't put you into waiting that long. :( One more chapter and this story shall be completed, don't you worry. :D Thanks for reading this anyway! (hugs)

**This story is edited by : faded. brilliance.** I love you, mate. ;D

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><p>The next time they met again, Kaname was having his cup of tea at a restaurant near his mansion. He was so unaware of his surroundings until he didn't realize that Zero came in. All he knew that once someone took a seat across the table, in front of his, his whole body stilled in surprise.<p>

Zero looked at him with an amused smile on his face.

"You mind if I join you?"

Kaname blinked his eyes before he shook his head slightly. "No, you're already sitting anyway."

His remark caused the silver haired man to roll his eyes, but in a good humorous way. Kaname found it amazing that such simple yet almost friendly gesture made him feel as if they had known each other for years.

"I always see you, almost everywhere."

Zero's sudden statement caused Kaname to freeze in his action. He blinked confusedly at the younger man, thinking that his mind was playing tricks with him. It was always Kaname who often saw Zero, not the other way around. He ended up faking a cough to break the suddenly awkward atmosphere and almost blushed when Zero laughed. He wasn't sure whether Zero was laughing at him or something else than that, but Zero has a nice laugh. It was wonderful and Kaname wanted to keep that laughter solely for him.

"Really? It must be a coincidence." He settled down with those words and Zero raised an eyebrow at him.

"Funny, I thought you're a stalker at one point."

This time, Kaname did cough; choking on the drink he was sipping. Zero looked concerned when his coughing took quite a while to ease while Kaname inwardly created excuses in his head to cover his action.

"No, I… I'm your fan, yes, but not that much." The brunette managed a chuckle and he was grateful it didn't sound too awkward. Zero titled his head slightly to one side, the act was adorable and Kaname found himself aching to touch his light strands of hair. Fortunately, a waiter came to take Zero's order, which gave Kaname time to get himself into a more proper state of mind.

Once the waiter left, a sense of awkwardness started to creep between them. Kaname saw Zero turn his eyes to the walking stick that he put next to his chair. The dancer, for a second, look concerned and hesitated to put forth a question. Kaname gave a small smile and decided to take him out from his misery and curiosity.

"I was a soldier."

Zero blinked his eyes at him but said nothing, and Kaname took that as a sign to continue.

"I lost my leg during an explosion, my left leg to be exact."

Kaname expected an apology to come or anything that indicated sympathy from the emotionless pools of lilac. But Zero just looked at him, his eyes softened slightly and he reached out a hand to give Kaname's hand a gentle squeeze. It was comforting and the brunette couldn't speak when Zero said the thing in his mind.

"You must be proud of yourself."

Slowly, a smile appeared on Kaname's face and he let out a heavy sigh, laughter followed and suddenly everything felt so light. The burden of others' thoughts on him, the heavy feeling of incapability and the ache his heart held for so long at his misfortune, slipped out all together.

Kaname thought that he had looked at life like a half-filled glass, not a half empty one but Zero looked at him with a new light, something that even Yuuki was unable to do. Zero saw him for the deeds he had done, not for the aftermath that fell on him.

And it felt wonderful.

"Thank you." Kaname managed to mutter under his laughter and he barely missed the radiant smile on Zero's pretty face. The dancer nodded his head and turned to look around him, as if he just realized the surroundings of the place he just entered.

"By the looks of it, this is an expensive restaurant." He commented and Kaname gave a small shrug.

"Their tea is lovely." Kaname said and Zero raised an eyebrow at him.

"Really? You must be a rich person. You said that you always come to see my performances although my performances are not that cheap. To enjoy such things is not easy for a lower class man."

Kaname chuckled softly and shook his head slightly.

"So pray tell, Kiryuu-kun, why is my status is important? Do you not wish to befriend me if I am a lower class person?"

Kaname expected something awful to come by his awful remark but Zero simply leaned back on his chair, one hand toyed with the white napkin on the table and his eyes darted to meet Kaname's.

"Most rich people that I have met are very arrogant, egoistical, and thought that they own the world. I don't like them."

Kaname blinked his eyes at the reply, something inside of him running fast – maybe his blood, maybe his heartbeat – when Zero drummed the silver tabletop with his slender fingers. His lilac eyes were brighter when he looked at Kaname again and that something inside the brunette – that had ran so fast, so quick, so exhilarating – burst into something unexplainable by Zero's next words.

"But I like you."

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><p>It was a shame to say that everyone actually saw the change in him. Kaname found himself smiling by himself at times; when he was in his study, working on the paperwork of his company, when he was in his bed, staring at the ceiling, when he was having his meals during the absence of his younger sister and somehow, it didn't bother him at all to hear rumours about him spreading through his own house.<p>

They said he was seeing someone, that he was in love and that he was ready to commit himself into a marriage. Kaname didn't want to deny all of that. It was true that he was seeing someone but that someone already has someone else tied to him. Homosexuality was not something rare – no longer something loathed by most people – in his place but Kaname wasn't sure how Yuuki would react if she found out that he liked a man.

His friendship with Zero was getting stronger by the day. They sometimes meet at restaurants to talk about their lives, their ideals and Kaname was surprised to know that the man Zero was dating was actually his childhood friend. Kaname didn't know much about him, about Kaito, but Zero said he had helped him a lot when he lost his family and when his career was in the doldrums. By how Zero had talked about him, it made Kaname doubt whether they were actually even in a relationship.

Zero always looks absentminded when he spoke of him. All smiles and emotions on his face were wiped off and his eyes went blank and Kaname was filled with anxiety and curiosity when it happened. He felt as if Zero was hiding something that might hurt anyone – might hurt himself – and it was maddening to not know anything.

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><p>It was Christmas Eve when it happened.<p>

Yuuki was unable to return home, as there was something important that needed to be done at her college. Kaname had first felt a little disappointed because he was expecting them to celebrate the day together. He settled down to visit his parents' graves alone. Maybe leaving them flowers and a little bit of talking would make him felt better.

Now he stood in front of his parents' gravestones, smiling absentmindedly as he knelt down to put a bouquet of flowers in front of them. He can barely remember the fond look on his father's face, the love in his mother's touches, and they were nothing similar to the frozen memories of them – the pictures – in their mansion. Yuuki was only five when the accident happened and Kaname sighed softly, remembering the face of their butler when he just came back from school; remembering his look of horror and pain and sympathy. And after that, Kaname forgot when he had ever lived for himself again.

He shook his head quietly, not knowing what to say to the remains of his parents buried 6 feet underground. Maybe a glass of red wine and a book would be nice to settle him down for the night.

He turned to leave, already thinking to invite his butler to have a small dinner with him. The maids and others had already left; he couldn't find it in himself to stop them from celebrating the day with their own families. However, when he was about to go past the gateway, he saw it.

The familiar light silver hair.

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><p>"I am going to say that this is fate." Zero raised an eyebrow at him as he raised his tin of warm coffee as well. Kaname chuckled, allowing himself to enjoy the 'fate' as his companion had said. They were sitting under a tree, with a blanket spread on the ground and a couple of warm pastries on top of said blanket. Kaname had asked him to join him at his house but Zero waved him away as if that was something unimportant. Frowning, Kaname had followed him and Zero led them to a bakery – that was surprisingly still open despite the hour and the day – and bought them those.<p>

They sat on a top of a small hill, where they can watch the whole town. Kaname had sent his butler home and managed to assure him that he would be fine. He'd find a way to return back later by his own.

"So what were you doing there?" Kaname inquired as he tightened his trench coat around him. The air was cold but their attire suited the situation. His butler even left them a thick blanket in case if they were to need one. Kaname inwardly debated whether he should make a fire and share the blanket with Zero, but at the end of it, he decided to just stay still.

"I was dancing, Kuran. What do you think I was doing?" Zero replied sarcastically with a roll of his eyes. Kaname frowned slightly before he shrugged it off. They stared at the magnificent sight of the town, quietly as singing voices – singing carols from the town – were carried by the cold winds to them.

"You're cold?"

"No. You?"

"Fine, a little bit shaken if you are concerned."

A small chuckle answered him and Kaname grinned. He shifted to sit closer to the silver haired dancer and he was surprised when Zero leaned on his side once they were close enough. Kaname took the thick blanket and gently wrapped it around them. He could smell the other man; the scent of mint and vanilla smothering his olfactory senses but in a good way.

"They had died today."

Maybe it was the tone that he used, maybe it was how the way his eyes closed, or the sudden shift in his body, that caused Kaname to freeze. However, he managed to find his ground within the next second and carefully wrapped an arm around the dancer's shoulders. They sat there for another moment, watching the cold night take its toll on the citizens of the town as the houses start to light up.

"Did yours die today too?" he heard Zero question him and he shook his head in return.

"No." he answered and Zero said nothing else. He didn't know what happened but later, he felt a hand creep on his left knee and his breath stuck in his throat. Brown eyes wide, Kaname looked down at Zero, who was touching his leg with his eyes fixed on it. He wanted to pull away, because below what the dancer was touching, he could feel nothing. But he didn't dare. And Zero seemed to know that he wouldn't dare to do it too.

It was only one touch lower and Kaname let out a small gasp, the non existing pain was raw in his chest but Zero paid it no mind as he gently returned his hand back to Kaname's knee and rubbed on it gently, as if comforting it.

"Why are you not celebrating Christmas Eve with your boyfriend?" Kaname quietly asked, trying to ignore the warmth the other body was providing because he was not his. Zero just shrugged a little, leaning a bit so that his head was resting on Kaname's shoulder. Kaname sighed softly, turning a little so that his head was rested on top of Zero's instead.

"Well, I think it's past midnight… Happy Christmas, Zero." Kaname quietly murmured and felt Zero shifted even closer to him. "Happy Christmas, Kaname."

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><p>He was waiting for Zero as he sat alone in the private booth inside a restaurant. But what he didn't expect was for the silver haired man to enter the booth, looking pale and also determined at the same time. He took his seat across him and his body was shivering out of cold. Kaname wanted to ask what was wrong but he beat him first to it.<p>

"I broke up with Kaito."

Kaname blinked his eyes slowly. As his brain started to process the fact, half of him was jumping in happiness but the other half was worried and concerned. Zero undid his scarf around his neck and discarded his gloves, eyes looking down as if he was trying to find words to explain further. The brunette just sat still in his seat, thinking perhaps not saying anything will make the dancer feel less edgy.

"We're not really in love, you know? Well, for sure, I know I'm not." he started, his lilac eyes looked up to see him and Kaname held himself from commenting. Zero never spoke of his relationship in such a way and he definitely would not even bring it up if Kaname didn't ask first. Then he ran his fingers through his silver hair and sighed.

"I think he was obsessed with me. He found out about you and started to say bad things about you. It pissed me off. This is my life and I have the right to control it as how I see fit." He muttered under his breath and took a sip of warm tea that Kaname had ordered for him earlier. Kaname continued to sit still, his hands gripping his slacks under the table as he waited for Zero to continue.

"So I told him that I had enough of him controlling everything I do and his attempts to stick his nose into whatever business I have. It's annoying. He's just, ugh, infuriating. Too much, Kaname. I feel like killing him at times… and I don't want anything to do with him anymore. It is better to remain friends with someone like him."

There was silence hanging in the atmosphere for a moment. Kaname stared at the silver haired dancer, watching him as he looked down at his cup. He looked forlorn, he did and Kaname wanted so badly to comfort him, to make him feel better.

"So what you want to do now?" he asked him instead. Zero looked up at him and his stare went right through Kaname's soul. Kaname stifled a gasp from escaping when Zero blushed slightly and looked down again.

"You think?" he quietly asked. Kaname's brown eyes softened as he watched him searchingly.

"I'll do whatever I can to comfort you-"

"I have come to a conclusion that I have developed a feeling towards you, Kaname and I am very sure this is not just a crush or something close to that."

Those blunt words caused him to lose his ability to talk again and Kaname almost laughed at the irony of it. He shook his head slightly and a weak chuckle escaped his lips.

"Zero… you're just imaging those feelings."

Zero frowned slightly.

"No I'm not…"

"Yes, you are. I… I really do like you, not just as a friend, but more than that but for you to like me in such manner, that is… ludicrous."

Kaname looked at him, sincerity visible in his gaze and his words, maybe those were the things that caused that ugly frown to appear on Zero's pretty face towards him. The silver haired dancer stared at him, hard, for almost a minute before he put both arms on the table, his expression showing his annoyance. Kaname had come to learn his body language, to read his expression and he understood his gaze so well until it left him to wonder; why is this person still isn't his at all?

"Explain." Zero demanded quietly. Kaname sighed and looked down at his own teacup, shifting his gaze anywhere as long as it's not at the person sitting in front of him.

"I'm… incapable, Zero. I'm imperfect. I have no left leg and your perfection is too beautiful to be associated with me. I can't even dance with you, when dancing is your love." He stated in a quiet tone, almost painfully. He dared himself to look up and saw Zero looked at him with a blank face. Kaname bet the realization must finally dawned upon him because he didn't even think about their differences before. But then Zero reached out a hand and cupped his cheek gently.

Kaname's brown eyes were wide as Zero's serious but sincere lilacs stared at them.

"There will always be someone prettier. There will always be someone richer. There will always be someone better…" his voice whispered like the beautiful melody that always accompanied his dancing, "But they can never be you."

Maybe it was the adrenaline of the moment. Maybe it was because the sincerity was too clear in his lilac eyes that it hurt. Maybe it was because Kaname's heart beated too fast at his touch. Maybe because it's just Zero and Kaname had loved Zero for so long to deserve this.

When Kaname leaned forward and Zero allowed their lips to touch, there wasn't any electric shock-like feeling or any fluttering butterfly in the stomach sensation as what people always said. Their first kiss didn't induce any goosebumps to erupt on their skins. There was no heart-pounding intensity as their hands found each other cheeks to pull them closer. No electric shock, no goosebumps, and no heart-bursting feeling.

But the Earth _moved_.

TBC.

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><p>AN : Thanks to **Love332, SoulReaper Rukia, kanamexzero fan, ben4kevin, fujoshii92, Polarbear Trancy, bloody child, PeachyQ73, Brookie cookie17, L0N3RBuM, irmina, Lovesucks01, nz** and** Gwen Truong** for all those lovely reviews. :)

Review please.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Knight.

I'm back, people! – hides from all the possible attacks from the readers –

Rest assured, the final chapter will be up soon and we'll go rock and roll with 'A Spoonful of Ginger', all right?

Enjoy the chapter!

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><p>His days went fast and slow at the same time. Each kiss they shared warmed Kaname's heart to the core and he couldn't remember a day where he had ever lived his life this sincerely. Currently they were sitting down under a large oak tree in the garden at the back of his mansion. The air was cool but the sunlight was enough to enlighten their day. Kaname's shoulder brushed against Zero's, their bodies' curve and dips fit to accommodate each other and Kaname chuckled softly when he heard Zero snore softly on his shoulder.<p>

The book that he had been reading to his lover stayed on his lap, a comforting weight like Zero was and he turned to his side to kiss him on top of his silver head. He felt Zero shift to get closer to him and as adorable as the act was, he had to wake up the younger man at last.

"Hey, don't sleep like that." He murmured softly, kissing him again on his temple. He couldn't seem to stop kissing and touching and caressing his Zero – his, HIS Zero – and it was something he never want to stop doing. Zero responded by leaning into the curve of Kaname's neck and gave a gentle bite on it. Kaname chuckled again, reaching out a hand and pulled his head by his ponytail, albeit gently.

Their eyes met one another and he watched as Zero's lilac pupils dilated with affection and lust.

"Kaname, kiss me." The dancer demanded; voice soft but firm. Kaname felt the need to comply but he just leaned closer until their breaths mingled and he whispered against the pink lips.

"Only if you say the magic word." He smirked.

Zero closed his eyes, seemingly annoyed, but shy at the same time. Out of the blue, he lunged forward to catch Kaname's lips in a kiss but Kaname pulled back faster, his arm wrapped around Zero's waist to hold him still and his other hand stayed cupping his lover's cheek. Zero opened his eyes, teeth gritted in annoyance and Kaname laughed.

"Magic word." He reminded, causing the younger man to raise his hands and took hold on both of his shoulders.

"You. Are. Annoying." He emphasized on each word and Kaname responded by tilting his head to one side with a raised eyebrow.

"Wrong magic word." He replied and a blush crawled on Zero's pale white skin, spreading from his cheeks down to his neck. Kaname almost gave into the urge just to lick them away – or to add more to it.

"How desperate are you to hear it?" his younger lover inquired instead, the gleam of mischievousness was evident in his eyes. Kaname leaned closer again, his thumb tracing the soft baby skin of his lover's cheek, gently memorizing the texture by heart.

"As desperate as I have always been to have you by my side. _Always_."

His words caused Zero to go still for a second. He seemed to be taken aback by Kaname's answer. However he just gave away a small smile, one hand reaching upwards to Kaname's forehead, skimming down to the tip of his nose and finally stopped against his lower lip. Kaname watched the movement warily – not because he didn't trust Zero, but because every touch Zero gave to him was something he needed to paint in his mind – and his eyes went to look at Zero's again once he stopped.

Then the dancer leaned even closer, negating the distance between them that were until their foreheads touched. The wind would have made them shiver but the love they share was so warm that it hurts to stay apart even for an inch. And Kaname would always remember how Zero's lips parted to whisper softly against his lips and how his eyelashes fluttered against his cheeks as he closed his eyes.

"I love you… I love you. And I will love you, as long as I remember what love is, I'll always love you, without doubt."

It was so quiet that Kaname could almost hear Zero's heartbeat thrumming against his own. The silence gave his breaths, Zero took them away and Kaname wouldn't want to live – and love – anymore when that someone isn't Zero. Not anymore.

"I love you too, beautiful, I always have." He whispered against his lover's lips before leaning down to catch them in a soaring kiss. Their kiss had never been this slow, this painfully slow but sweet, _achingly_ sweet that it made Kaname want to grit his teeth and devour the man that had been his anchor ever since he lost his leg.

He felt Zero shift even closer, as if it was even possible and felt hands tangling themselves in his dark brown hair and he felt Zero kissing his breath away, feeding his love inside. His hands found the sides of his lover's waist to pull him to sit on his lap, the book pushed away and mouth against his own melting away the world that had once demanded him to stay and survive.

With Zero, it was never only to survive. It is to live.

When they pulled away, Zero's face was flushed and Kaname felt that his face mirrored Zero's. Zero ran his long pianist fingers through his locks and entwined his fingers on the back of Kaname's head. Kaname looked up at his lover, smiling like a fool in love that he was and leaned to press a kiss under Zero's chin. Zero squirmed a little in his lap to find a more comfortable position and he mentally shot down the thought of taking his lover under the tree, under the sunlight, risking others seeing what he has the only privilege to.

"I can _feel_ you down there." Zero suddenly said, smirk visible on his face and Kaname suppressed a throaty groan from escaping.

"Zero, as much as I love you, I believe you don't enjoy exhibitionism." Kaname teased back, trying to control his libido for a while more. Zero only raised an eyebrow at him but not answering, causing Kaname to inwardly ponder on what he did. Then the young dancer turned to his side and his eyes saw the book again.

"I think you were about to end the chapter for me." He asked as Kaname's attention was taken by the book too. The brunette blinked his eyes before he looked back at his lover and nodded.

"Yes, I did. Then you fell asleep." He chuckled and received a half hearted punch on his shoulder.

"It wasn't my fault, your voice is deep and soothing. I love your voice but it makes me sleepy when I gave too much attention on it." Zero explained, his hand making a vague expression in the air as he leaned to rest against Kaname's chest. Kaname pressed a kiss on top of his head and tightened his arms around him.

"Can you repeat the last words then?" Zero asked again, quietly this time and Kaname smiled. The book has always been one of his favourites and he lovingly cradled his lover against him as he murmured.

"You must know… Surely you must know, it was all for you. Quite contrary to my aunt's intentions, her visit taught me to hope as I had scarcely allowed myself to hope before. You are too generous to trifle with me. My affections and wishes have not changed," Kaname paused in his reading, only to press a slight kiss on top of his lover's head. Zero had his eyes closed one second and in another, Kaname found himself eye to eye with his younger lover. His expression was bland but there were so many things, so much love and so many impressions inside of those orbs that made Kaname inwardly shiver.

He gently rested their foreheads together, the last sentence of the chapter carved in his mind as he looked into his _heart_. His only heart.

"But _one_ _word_ from you would silence me on the subject forever."

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><p>The applauses that he got were tremendous. Kaname smiled as he watched Zero gave a small bow and proceeded to get off the stage. The young dancer disappeared behind the red curtains and Kaname was about to follow him when his sister faked a cough.<p>

"What is that about?" Yuuki asked with a raised eyebrow, the smile in her eyes visible. Kaname could not help but blush, remembering the wink Zero gave him before he began his performance. He looked away and shifted in his seat.

"What?" he mumbled. His sister pouted before she poked him on his side. Kaname thanked his ability to stay calm and collected as he managed to remain expressionless.

"Nii-saaan…!"

However, his sister always wins in the end.

"Fine." Kaname sighed, adjusting his posture again. Yuuki stared at him as he took another minute to think of a better explanation.

"… Zero is my lover now." he turned to look at his sister and was surprised to see her eyes welling with tears. He was about to touch or maybe, _run_, because maybe for her this was _wrong_, that Zero was wrong and this relationship was wrong and for Kaname, to run because he knew he would always chose Zero over-

"Nii-san, I'm so happy for you."

Kaname blinked his eyes in surprise. He didn't expect that Yuuki would respond in such way, but she was looking at him as if he had finally found what he was looking for in his whole life, and he was never ever feel anymore grateful than now for having her as a sister. The female brunette leaned in towards him and caught him in an embrace. Kaname had to take a deep breath, wondering since when he had stopped breathing, as his arms went to wrap her inside of his embrace.

"I'm so happy for you, Nii-san," she repeated and Kaname could felt her tears soaking his dress shirt. He only managed to let out a small laugh, closing his own eyes and gently ran his fingers through her hair as she continued, "You deserve this, Nii-san, after everything that you've done, and this is only a small slice of what you deserve."

Kaname breathed against her temple, pressing a gentle kiss on her hair and carefully put an arm distance between them. He leaned down to look at his sister's teary face, and offered her a kind smile.

"I deserve you too, don't I?" Kaname smiled when Yuuki laughed at his words, her tears didn't stop falling but it didn't make her any less beautiful in Kaname's eyes, "So why don't you stop crying, and let us go and meet Zero together now?"

His gentle persuasion managed to make her atleast stopped sobbing, and she wiped at her eyes in a desperate attempt to look more presentable. Kaname only offered her a smile as he patted her gently on her head.

Zero may have his heart now, but Yuuki would forever be his backbone. That was what Kaname knew for sure.

When they pulled away to go and look for Zero, both Kaname and Yuuki were surprised to see the silver haired dance standing at the exit door. He was leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed but his face lacked of expressions. However, Kaname could see the way his eyes were smiling at them, as if he was watching something so intimate he didn't know how to respond to it. Kaname walked closer to him, offering a hand for Zero to take, while Yuuki still fixed in her ground.

Her large brown eyes watched the interaction between Kaname and Zero, as Zero carefully but gracefully put his hand in Kaname's, and allowed the older brunette to pull him closer. The hall was almost empty by then, only the three of them in Kaname's private booth, and Kaname had to smile at the sight of Zero's reddened cheeks as he stepped chest to chest to him.

Yuuki looked like she was about to cry again, whether out of happiness or misery, Kaname wasn't sure, but right at the moment when Zero turned to look at her, she let out a soft gasp of surprise. The lilac eyed man looked at Yuuki with a firm stance, his presence strong and real beside Kaname. Zero's grip in Kaname's hold was tight, but comfortable, and warm, and _his_, and Kaname wanted this moment to last forever.

"I will take care of him, don't you worry, Yuuki." He said in a small voice, almost inaudible to listen too, but his words were laced with such sincerity that both Kurans couldn't help but stare at him. The silver haired dancer tightened his grip in his lover's hand, and Kaname had to laugh at the absurdity of the situation. Both of his sister and lover were trying to find a common ground between them; one wanting Kaname to be happy, and another wanting to rest assure everyone that Kaname was in a good hand.

It felt weird to be taken care of, since all he had done in his life was to take care of others. But it didn't mean that it didn't feel good, Kaname inwardly smiled. Without wasting another second, he leaned down to press a loving kiss against Zero's flushed cheek with a soft 'thank you', and watched in amusement as the colour darkened, before offered another of his hand to Yuuki.

Yuuki looked from Zero to Kaname, before she let out a wide smile to appear on her face. Kaname had to chuckle a bit as she took his hand as well and started to walk them out from the private booth.

"Okay you two lovebirds, I want to know your story during dinner so let us get going now!"

The groan that followed from Zero was enough to make Kaname laughed again, this time, much more content and happier than he thought he could ever be.

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><p>"I'm sorry that she got so very excited about us." Kaname turned to look at his lover who was walking right beside him. They had just sent Yuuki back to her college, and Kaname told the driver to pick them up later. The thought of walking at night with Zero was comforting, and it gave Kaname a sort of intimacy that he knew Zero would appreciated. Their fingers were loosely laced together, and Kaname felt it against his covered skin when Zero stepped closer to him naturally, as if he had been doing it throughout his life.<p>

"It's all right, Kaname. At least she is not against us." Zero replied instead, looking back at him with his head tilted up. Kaname smiled a little, and leaned to press a loving kiss against Zero's forehead. It caused the dancer to promptly blush and Kaname snickered at the sight. Zero was so easy to dishevel, at the point where he became irritatingly adorable to tease.

The air of the night was cold, and the two of them continued to wander mindlessly with a slow pace. Kaname wasn't sure yet about where they should go, or whether he should just send his lover home by now, but he didn't want to let go of the private, sweet moment, that they were having.

The silver haired man seemed to understand his thought, as he ran his thumb against Kaname's, gently. Kaname stole a glance towards the shorter man and suppressed a smile from escaping. Zero looked like he could burst out of embarrassment by the way his face was burning red.

"Umm, Kaname," Kaname smiled at the younger man and nodded, bringing up their laced hands together to press a kiss against them. Zero's face reddened even more, as if that was even possible.

"Yes?" Kaname prompted, and Zero huffed. He looked away for a moment, before he looked back at him with a strange, but strong determination in his eyes.

"We'll always be together… right?" Zero asked slowly, as if he wasn't sure himself whether he wanted to know the answer or not. Kaname abruptly stopped in his step, his other hand that was holding onto his walking stick almost lose its grip on the expensive wood.

Zero blinked his large lilac eyes at him, suddenly looking so out of place and Kaname knew he had just given the younger man a false and easily misunderstood answer.

"Zero-"

"I'm sorry, I went over the line-"

Before the silver haired dancer could start putting all the blames and insecurities into himself, Kaname pulled him close and into a searing kiss. The dancer gasped into their sudden kiss, mouth opened and although surprised, happily accepting Kaname's tongue into his entrance. His arms went to wrap around Kaname's broad shoulders, and Kaname's own arms found themselves settling around the familiar slim waist.

They were almost alone in the dead town; the clock nearing digit 1 in the morning, and Kaname got Zero tight in his arms. One hand was holding on the back of Zero's neck, thumb rubbing against the soft baby hair there, and their breath visible mingled in the cold air. Their nosetips touched and Kaname felt exhilarated to see his lover up so close. Zero's usually light lilac eyes were dark with desire, lust and something else that Kaname couldn't name. His hands were holding onto Kaname's shoulder, as his knees were weak to stand by their own.

Kaname always thought that Zero was beautiful; from far and up so close. But he never knew that being like this with Zero only made him even more beautiful, because Zero gave him things he thought he didn't deserve, things he never though that he needed.

And Zero was even more beautiful now; from the inside and out.

"Of course we'll be together forever, silly." Kaname murmured under his breath, breaking the magic that was their love, and Zero let out a relieved laugh, although he did tried his best to look annoyed first.

"Good," Zero responded back, nuzzling their nosetips together with a smile on his face and Kaname felt his breath being stolen away again, all over again, by the same person. His arm tightened around Zero's waist to pull him closer, yet still mindful of his walking stick in his hand. Zero leaned to rest his cheek against Kaname's shoulder, his lilac eyes gleaming with happiness as they stared up at Kaname and Kaname had to lean down to kiss him again because he was so wonderful, and so beautiful, and so completely _Kaname's_.

"Yes, so perfectly good."

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><p>AN: Thanks to those who reviewed, favourited and followed my stories. You guys are the best :D

Please review.


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